Sad

Today marks one month since my best friend lost her son to cancer. This by far is the most difficult journey that I've ever witnessed anyone make. And I must say, she is amazing!  Her strength shows through her love for her boys every second of every day. And although I know she doesn't always feel "strong", she truly is. 

Not a day goes by without a sweet memory of you, Bean. I know you watch over us every minute of every day. Take care of your mommy. She loves you so much!  

Also, tomorrow marks the two year anniversary of my D&C. While I know that I would not have my beautiful baby boy without the loss, I still feel it very heavily. I remember that awful feeling when I walked through the labor and delivery doors at the hospital. I still hear my voice crying out for my lost baby. 

So while I am celebrating my many blessings this week, my heart is very heavy with loss as well.

I know...I know...

So I've been gently reminded that I have not been keeping up with my blog.  I'm terrible at it, what can I say.  My last entry was almost a year ago!!!  So for my whole two oh wait three followers, lol, I will attempt to update. 

Alex- I've blinked and somehow he is in FOURTH grade!!!  When the heck did that happen?  He's at a new building due to redistricting and he really seems to like it. He got glasses over the summer because he was diagnosed with astigmatism. He's had some difficulty with reading recently so I'm going to pray that this will help.  He's playing soccer right now and I'm so proud to say that he's really improved over the last year. He scored his first goal last week, which I unfortunately missed because Andrew was sick, and he was so excited. He just recently spent his annual tradition of a week with mammaw and papaw (how the heck so you spell that?) and got to go to the fair. 

Maybe he's a little too big for the pony rides?  Lol. 

Alivia- What a big change for her recently...she started kindergarten!  

And lost 4 teeth this summer!  She continues to be the big drama princess at home. Hopefully that doesn't happen at school. She's added to her list of admirers at school too. I swear they're going to have to start a line now!  I hope Mike is ready!  She's going to be six years old in less than a month and is already trying to give mommy gray hairs with her schedule. She started gymnastics last spring and she's a natural!  Probably because she's so tiny. It's so fun to watch her. 

That's her on the uneven bar in the pink! She is also taking ballet still and will be starting tap. Oh and last week she said she wants to take piano lessons!  Good lord woman slow down! 

Andrew- Oh my sweet baby boy. I have not updated about him since he was a little over a month old. At times he still seems to have the swallowing disorder but we're working around it. He had RSV last winter which was VERY scary. We found out he has a low hemoglobin number and is probably anemic...which stumped the doctors because he's on an iron fortified formula.We'll hopefully be updated about this soon. Recently he contracted hand foot and mouth disease- an extremely unpleasant virus. :(  Yet despite all of those things he's the sweetest baby ever. He's cuddly and always happy. Almost never fussy unless he's hungry. He is just so laid back and easy going. Right now he does the cutest thing- he lays his head on my shoulder and verbalizes a "aawwwww" sound to show me he loves me. He turned one on Monday!!!!

We recently went on a family vacation to Hilton Head Island and loved it. It is a wonderful place to go on a family vacation. We made many memories there and hope to make it a spot we return to many times as the kids grow. 

Wow! That was a lot of pictures!  

Sadly, while we were there we received some devastating news. Our sweet Brody Bean lost his battle with cancer. Most of you knew through Facebook  that my best friend's son has been fighting since June 2012.  Words cannot explain the sorrow that I feel.  A lot of you (and again my 3 followers) know that I express myself through writing so it seems unusual for me not to have blogged about it.  Truly I never felt it was my place to talk about it. My role is a friend and supporter.  The grief that my dear friend is going through is unimaginable and unexplainable. There are no words to describe it. Many of my friends and family members have offered their condolences to her in some way and for that I am very thankful.  Brody was the sweetest, most loving little boy I had the privilege to know (and I know a lot of little boys being a second grade teacher). 

It is truly comforting to know that he is in heaven taking care of my angel babies just like he did here with us. Please continue to pray for Erin, and her other two boys. They need lots of love!

Please hug your babies.  They are your most precious gifts. 

I promise, promise, promise to be better with the updates. I downloaded the app to my phone so that should help!